Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Miss Her

We got some sad news a couple of weeks ago. My mom called at 6:55 am on Tues, October 4 and told me my Grandma had passed away. We knew it was getting close but it was still so hard. The first thing I said was, "The pictures didn't make it". Landon and Noah had both drawn pictures for her the Saturday before. I knew she wasn't doing good so I went to the post office Monday morning and overnight-ed them. They told me they would be there by 3:00 pm. She passed away at about 3:30 am. When I hung up, the boys asked what was wrong. I told them that Grandma had gone to Heaven to be with Jesus. Connor and Landon both started crying. It was hard because Mike had left at 5:30 that morning for a 24 hour shift. I hugged them and told them they could stay home if they wanted. They both wanted to go to school. I found out that evening that Connor had started crying when he got to school. His teacher told him she understood because her Grandpa was really sick and they knew he'd be going to Heaven very soon too. She told him it was okay to cry and that she'd be praying for us. What a blessing she was!
We made arrangements to leave the next day at lunch as soon as Mike got home from work. That afternoon was a blur. I spent the time packing for the 10 hour drive to Florida. The next few days were really hard but I'm so glad we got to go. It helped to be with my family. We were united in our sadness and it was comforting to be with people who missed her like I did. I was also glad that the boys got to see my Grandpa who shared 67 years with my Grandma. My mom brought the pictures to the funeral and the boys put them in her casket with her. I was a little surprised they did but they asked to go up and see her. Connor decided he didn't want to and I told him that was perfectly fine. It was totally up to him.
I'm doing better now but I still have my moments. I'll picture her face and her light blue eyes and remember how her face would light up when we went to see her, and get very emotional. I can hear her voice. When I'd call, she'd answer with a soft "hello" and when I said "Hi Grandma", I could literally hear her smile as she said "Hey baby!". She ADORED my boys. She had a special thing where she would always have popsicles in the freezer for them when we went to see her. Even after she moved into the nursing home, she'd have my aunt go get some and put them in the nurse's freezer when she knew we were coming. I told the boys, she'll be waiting for them in Heaven with popsicles in hand!
My grandma always made me feel loved. She worried about me, especially when I was pregnant. She would always ask me how I was feeling and tell me to rest and take care of myself. It felt good to have someone be concerned for me. She was proud of me and made me feel special. The last time we saw her was when Keaton was 3 months old. She was SO excited to meet him and cuddle him. I just wish she could have done it more.
It still seems a little unreal sometimes. Knowing that I can't just pick up the phone and hear her voice. I'd love to be able to hug her one more time. The last time I talked to her was about a week and a half before she died. Before I hung up I said ,"I love you Grandma", and she replied with "Love you more". I couldn't ask for any better last words and I thank God for blessing me with her.